I was on a path of self destruction. I doubt any other species on this earth would do to themselves what I was doing to myself (and what others choose to do to themselves). Yes we all in the human race have free will.... are we the only animal on earth that would use that free will to make ourselves sick and miserable?
Since I have made the choice to stop killing myself and abusing my body with alcohol, my journey has changed for the better. Oh dont get me wrong, I have my moments, days and probably even weeks.... moments when I need more patience then I think I have, moments when I think I cant do it, moments when I want to cry, or hide from the world or run away from reality. But I can deal with these moments now! I can deal with them because I am NOT drinking. And when I feel like I cant deal with them, I know I can lean on the one I love. Do I have triggers that can set me off... OOOO YEA! but I also have a support system that I know I can go to, and get the help I need to get through the rough spots.
Life is so good! Life is good because I am sober and I can enjoy it! Yes they say life is a journey, with its long winding roads, some up hills, some down.... but the scenery is beautiful if you just look around! Rainy days? yep, but have you ever looked at a drop of rain coming off a blade of grass?
or a puddle of rain inside a tulip's leaf? I have, and its beautiful. Sunny days, with the sun warming your face... cold days when you can feel the air in your lungs and know you are alive?
Every day is good....
But then there are those days.... when you feel like even the Gods of the Universe are crying.... I'm not sure about you, but I never felt any better on those days when I got the the bottom of a bottle... so I choose to ride out the feelings, cry with the Universe and feel the feeling I am meant to feel... after all, that is life, and no matter what, LIFE IS GOOD.
Everything that happens in life, good, bad or indifferent is a lesson to learn and to move on from. I am so glad I have learned that self destruction is no way to live life. I love the journey of life. I love where I am, I love that I have had a good life for the most part, by the choices I have made. I love that when I take responsibility for the path I take on my life's journey that the journey becomes more enjoyable.
Do I hit bumps in the road? yep, but I can handle them with the love of family (Dave, my kids, and of course my DAWGS!)
Enjoy your journey.... choose to live life to its fullest, after all, life is too short to waste!
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