So what should an alcoholic in recovery do when they hurt and are being triggered big time? GET HELP!
What did I do? ( remember I said rough week)
First I guess I wanted to cover the pain I was feeling with a drink, and hurt the one who hurt me.
So what did I do?
Yep.... I fucked up and I relapsed.... After a few I called a friend who encouraged me to stop drinking and talk out my hurt.... But as a drunk, I was past the point of no return.
I woke up the next morning, and had the same hurt and problems, but I realized I only made them worse by acting like a spoiled baby and lashing out and having a drink..... And worst yet, I gave up my sobriety!!
What the hell had I been thinking? Nothing, I mean NOTHING is worth more then my sobriety!
The next day, we continued to hurt each other and it seemed unbearable..... But I kept telling myself NO! I went out to the pharmacy and passing 3 of my old liquor stores was one of the hardest things I ever did without stopping in! Then I thought of something I had told my Daughter many many years ago, "everyone needs help sometime, and if they say they don't they are a liar"
I knew it, I needed help....
I went to an AA meeting, I reached out for help....
Events unfolded, and because I was sober I was able to handle them, and although they were hard, I could handle the situation, because I was SOBER.....
As things turned out, I was able to over come a stumble, get help, start working on healing the hurt..... I believe everything happens for a reason, and so much good has come from this lesson........
I know there will be triggers, but I also know I have to make a call BEFORE I allow the hurt to win (Oooooo yes, because I always have the choice to pick up a drink or to leave it).
Yea, I fucked up..... I drank...... But everyday is a new beginning.... I learned, call for help when you hurt!!! JUST CALL..... You will save yourself a world of more hurt!
Now say it with me, just for today.... Just for this moment.... I will not drink,,,, and keep saying it my friend!
